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  • Writer's pictureKeshmi Gopal

The Essence of Friendship

To all my friends who have helped me with this topic, THANK YOU! Your input has been invaluable in helping me write this post


PREQUEL: Being the only child came with its perks; I got all the attention from my parents and yes I was spoiled. But it also meant that I had tons of expectations to live up-to which sometimes became overwhelming. However, the one thing I hated the most about being an only child (and I still do!) was the feeling of loneliness. 

…And sometimes I felt really lonely.

Like wolves, we too belong in packs. At least that’s what I’d like to believe. I would like to think that it’s in our nature to be surrounded by people as its unnatural for us to want to live alone, and while some master that effortlessly, others not so much. It is with this belief that I feel that having friends forms an important part of our life.

Growing up, I’ve always wanted to conquer my loneliness and while that has somewhat been achieved, having friends have been the essence of my life. Over the years, I have outgrown some friendships, but the ones that have stood the test of time are the ones I am eternally grateful for. They are the people I call my tribe.

They would probably tell you with exasperation, I am (most of the time) over-caring, over-loving and all in all une maman poule (a mother hen); as to me, essentially, the meaning of friendship is to care, love and be there for that person no matter what.

So as I blog away on this topic, let me share with you a little bit of what I’ve learned so far….

Not a lesson. More of a reflection

Just like a father cannot replace a mother and so forth, friends have a place of their own in our life. Whilst, some are lucky enough to find a friend in their mother or sibling or cousin and thus never find the need to look elsewhere, others form connections with the a complete stranger. Like the quote goes: “Friends are the family we get to choose”. And this in itself is where the beauty lies.

Friendship is weird. You pick a human and you’re like yep I like this one and then you just do stuff with them.

Essentially, the meaning of friendship varies from person to person, as it is the reflection of who we are and how we want to be treated.

Lesson 1: Friendships are Necessary

It is important to have friendships. While it is necessary for us to be independent, it cannot be healthy for us to always be alone. Friends subconsciously help you to evolve and grow. They help you keep your sanity intact during the challenging times in your life. Through them, you get a different perspective of life, you learn a different way to love. But most importantly, you have someone who allows you to be yourself with no judgement. Someone you can confide in. Your safe place maybe or even your escape. Friendships allows you to become who you need to be.

Lesson 2: It’s a Two-Way Traffic

Like every other relationship, friendships are fragile. They can easily be broken but if you value the presence of that person in your life then fight for them. Life is complicated as it is and so every little support helps. Learn to value the friends you have; schedule catch up sessions, meet up over coffee. But remember, it should always feel balance and never one-sided.

Lesson 3: Quality over Quantity

While having many friends may be a great feeling, you will notice that over time only a few will stick around. In the end, its all about the quality of friends you have rather than the quantity. A good mix between guys and girls is also important. While my girlfriends empower me to be a better woman, my guy-friends give me a different outtake on situations and life. Together, they push me to be a better version of myself.

Lesson 4: Not all Friendships are Forever

Whilst, we sometimes outgrow friendships, it is important to remember that the end of a friendship also feels like a heartbreak. So give yourself time to let go and move on. Take the lessons and cherish the memories but don’t let it impact on your self-worth.

Lesson 5: Being Your Best Friend

The most important friendship you can have in this world, is the one you have with yourself. How much love do you give to you? Are you always there for you? Do you pick yourself up when the stacks are down? How are you being your best friend? We owe it to ourselves to try a little harder and be a better friend to ourselves. And though, it is sometimes easier said than done, imagine for a second if we started to give ourselves all the love and care that we give our friends then how would that make us feel. I guess we owe ourselves that much to at least try.

So to sum this all up, friends are important. Choose wisely who you bring into your life as their presence will have an impact on you. With each friendship, learn to enjoy the moments, create many memories, teach them a thing or two and learn too… Good friends may be common but great friends are rare.

Love Always,

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